Peter Meredith--Hooray for Zombie Lit! (Is that even a genre??)

I have to begin my Peter Meredith post with a big THANK YOU to Book Bub for introducing my cheap miserly ass to this author. Back in January, I received my daily BookBub email with the list of freebies and almost freebies of the day. For some reason, I've been binge reading apocalyptic zombie stuff for the past couple years.  I'm sure some shrink out there could look at me and give me a detailed explanation given what the past couple years have been...but I don't care...just gimme a good zombie book, ok? That particular day, Peter Meredith's book, The Apocalypse (The Undead World Book 1) popped up. I thought to myself, "self...it's 99 cents...and it's got 4 1/2 stars with well over 500 ratings on Amazon.. go for it."  

I was hooked after the first couple pages. This guy writes a terrific story!! Great characters, multiple story lines, just an all round great read. And I was off and running...It was a Peter Meredith-palooza (Peterpalooza sounds better but.....you know....)  around here for a couple months. First there was The Apocalypse, immediately followed by The Apocalypse Survivors,  The Apocalypse Outcasts, The Apocalypse Fugitives, and The Apocalypse Renegades. Then I was done with the Undead World Series. So bummed. But wait! This guy has written lots of stuff, all equally *ahem* "affordable" on Amazon...(I mentioned I'm cheap, right....)


The Trilogy of the Void, was my next Peter Meredith binge.  No zombies here, just a terrifying romp through hell, filled with monsters, demons and the damned. With, of course, the Meredith hallmark of great characters and  action. I'll admit, I wasn't as fond of the Void series as the Undead, but it was very good.

Once again, I was done. Sigh. Now what? Wait...oh boy! Another Peter Meredith zombie book! The Apocalypse Crusade War of the Undead Day One: A Zombie Tale. Yeah, it's a mouthful, but here is the genesis of the zombie apocalypse, according to Meredith. Hooray! I am such a fan of this guy. He never fails to bring his A game!

I was intrigued by his new set of characters, what was the cause of the zombie outbreak, who would survive the first day, who would escape quarantine to bring the disaster to the rest of the world, industrial spies, Chinese spies, insane convicts, cancer patients, corporate intrigue, with action and pathos galore!! I enjoyed this book just as much as the Undead Series. So, of course, when I received an email that his newest book was available for pre-order, I signed up right away, promptly forgot all about it and was delighted when I woke up one morning to a shiny new Meredith book on my Kindle.

I'm currently reading The Apocalypse Crusade 2 War of the Undead: A Zombie Tale,and it's great!!  I haven't made my way through Mr. Meredith's entire bibliography yet. He has a series called The Hidden Lands, which I'm not sure is up my alley. I'm not much of a fantasy reader. And I do want to read some of his freestanding books. I have The Sacrificial Daughter on my Kindle and The Perfect America sound interesting too.

All in all...Peter Meredith...you rock my socks! Peter Meredith books give you  more bang for your buck than you can imagine!!! So far, this author has never disappointed me. And I'd like to extend a big THANK YOU to Mr. Meredith for sharing his stories with me, it's been great fun!!

And if you read this, Mr. Meredith...please? Another Undead World book? I'd love to know what happens to Jillybean, Neil and the whole bunch!!

My rating for all the Peter Meredith books I've read so far?

'

Homemade Granite Cleaner really works!

I know, I know....GRANITE CLEANER???? What does that have to do with a book blog? The way I see it, if I can clean the kitchen fast and make the granite look good AND save a ton of money in the process...more time reading and more money for books!

 Waaaaay back in 2008, here at the House of Unlimited Potential, you may remember the Hubs and I tore out our kitchen and redid the whole danged thing. When we got to the countertops, I cheapied out and didn't want to spring for slab granite. (And yes...much  much regret now.....) So we used 12" square granite tiles and have a granite tile countertop. All the durability of granite with the pain in the ass grout lines of tile. What WAS I thinking???? And, because I couldn't decide what color to chose, being a quilter, I went with the light, medium, dark rule. The floor is light colored tile, the cabinets are a medium oak, so I went with black Ubatuba granite. Again...WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!  It all looks so awesome when it's shiny, dust free and streak free. For those 30 seconds after its all wiped down with $8 a bottle granite cleaner. Then the dust starts showing. Place a glass of water on in...bingo...moisture leaves a smear. Place your hand on the counter...finger smudges...ARRRRRGH!!!  And I'm sick of shelling out 8 damn dollars for a bottle of cleaner...even at TJ Maxx, it's $6.

Pinterest to the rescue! I found a homemade granite cleaner recipe, and thought, "What the hell, it's not like I don't have an empty Method granite cleaner bottle under the sink!" Here's how I mixed it for the 28 ounce Method bottle.

1/2 cup of rubbing alcohol
About 8 drops of Dawn dishwashing liquid
About 20 drops of lemon essential oil (from a little set of three essential oils I found at TJ Maxx, lemon, rosemary and peppermint, for 4 bucks. They're going to last me a long time! Although I'm a little skeptical about rosemary scented granite cleaner....)
Water to fill.

I put the alcohol, Dawn and lemon oil in the spray bottle, filled it up  the rest of the way with water and.......TA DA!!!! 

Ohhh.......shiny........!!!!    (It's hard to take a good picture of shiny granite!)

And yes, I'm yearning for slab granite, and one of those splotchy beigy colors where you can't even see if you  have toast crumbs on it.

My rating for homemade granite cleaner:

Thank you Chuck Norris. (Dodge Ball reference....because of its important life lessons: If you can dodge a wrench. You can dodge a ball.)  Love that movie...it's dumb but hilarious!!

Vale of Stars by Sean O'Brien makes me want to read more Science Fiction!

Wow, okay, so its been a while and I'm pretty sure my reviewing skills are a might rusty. So please bear with me as I get my stuff together! Recently I was in a local bookstore and noticed a poster regarding a local author who would be signing books there. And even though I never, and I mean never read straight up "on another planet with the weird character names" science fiction, I said to myself, "Self, support the local guy." So I got myself a copy and started in.

As I was saying, I don't do  sci fi...Yeah, I read Dune back in the day, and Battlefield Earth and I really did try to read book two of that series. (It was AWFUL!)  I've read my minor share of Bradbury too. But it has been decades, so here's me, dipping my toe back into the reviewing pool with a genre heretofore unknown to me.

Sean O'Brien's Vale of Stars is an ambitious book, covering four generations of women colonizing a distant planet. The book opens aboard "Ship", where we meet our first protagonist, Jene Halfner, as Ship approaches Epsilon Eridani near the end of a hundred year voyage. Jene is a member of the fourth generation born aboard Ship as they make their voyage. The plot has some surprise turns that I really never saw coming. Perhaps because it's an unfamiliar genre? But perhaps because it's just quite imaginative.

The book incorporates many of the ills of our own society, and I'll admit, I kept waiting for it to become preachy or heavy handed as so many books that include the themes of  racism, segregation, religion and environmentalism tend to. Much to my happy surprise, the author manages to include these themes without beating us over the head with them. Not as a preachy point of view, but rather as hard issues faced by the characters.

Since I'm not a geneticist, doctor or any other type of scientist, I can't do any of the nitpicky stuff that I'm sure some readers will do. I found the scientific explanations believable, readable and downright enjoyable. Is any of it even remotely plausible? Heck if I know! But I enjoyed reading about it and imagining what might be!

There are large gaps of time between each part of the story, and I found that it often discombobulated my old brain for a few pages until I sort of caught up. However, I liked that the author doesn't spend time explaining the changes in societal mores, language, physical appearance and the like. He assumes we readers aren't dumb, and we'll figure it out as we go along. And, little miss Smarty-pants that I am, I did.

While on its face, the story is about the colonization of a distant world, this is much more the story of four strong women, faced with difficult choices, and the ramifications of their decisions. It's about people constructing and finding their way within brand new societies; all of whom never chose to be there in the first place.

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect to like the book, and I found myself staying up way too late during a very busy week to read. And I found myself thinking about it for quite a few days after. In fact, I really only found one negative thing, and it's an aforementioned nitpicky thing....I read an electronic version, and the last 25% of the book had some typos that proofreading should have caught. And if that is the worst thing I can say about a book then it deserves at the very least an enthusiastic thumbs up from me!

Read Vale of Stars. I don't think you'll be disappointed!

My rating:

So....I'm back and damn it's been a long time....

I've been absent from the blogosphere for quite some time. I wondered, "Should I just review a book, and ignore my long absence?" Is that weird? Yeah, it is. I mean lets face it. I haven't exactly been  bashful in the past. You all know waaaay to much about pooper cancer thanks to me. So I decided to simply tell you about the past 18 months or so.

In short...2014 was a tough one. As was the first half of 2015. When I last posted, I was getting ready to begin chemo and looking back on my last post, wasn't I a feisty one! Chemo sorta kicked the stuffin's right outta me. But I did get the entire Jack Reacher series read, so, bright sides and all that. I started chemo in March of 2014. The very best thing that could happen to anyone, happened the end of April 2014, the hubs and I were awarded the Grandparent award when our daughter and her hubs had their first wee one. A beautiful, hilarious, bundle of energy. For purposes of this blog, I'll call her Twinkles, because she is just the happiest kid in the world! This picture isn't terribly new...it's from last November..but you see what I'm talking about...right??!

So..light of our life and all that!!

My daughter was sad when someone said Twinkles was our consolation prize for such an awful year. I told her that the root of the word "consolation" was console. And Twinkles consoled me in wonderful ways. Because yes, then things really got bad.

A week after Twinkles was born, my youngest son's girlfriend, with whom he had lived for two years, went into the same hospital with a migraine. Issa had been having them for about 5 years. The hospital did a CT and found a mass in her brain. Biopsies, bleeds, intracranial pressure, shunts, MRI's, and days of impossible decisions ensued before she was finally diagnosed. She had a non operable glioblastoma.She was more than a friend, she was a sister to my kids, like a daughter to us, and my son's  beautiful soul mate. I wish you all could have known her. She was as loving as she was beautiful. Funny, sassy, generous, loyal, and fiercely protective of those she loved.

                                                                                           

When I had cancer surgery, she showed up with food to feed everyone in the family for days. While I was recovering, she brought me albondigas and posole...and giggled when she told me she toned down the heat for my Montana farm girl tastes. 

When I started radiation, she brought me...of all things, a "medicinal herb" that she had got from a friend with a "medicinal herb card". I laughed...but it ended up being what got me through both radiation and chemo. When I was in chemo she called me frequently to check up on me and just to talk. She was an extraordinary young woman.

And the crap storm that was 2014 continued...

The end of May of 2014, I had a pulmonary embolism. I don't recommend this. Hurts like a bitch. I always thought I was a tough old broad...had 4 kids with natural childbirth...yeah...I'm tough. And then...BAM...wow...those suckers hurt. And I had to start taking blood thinners for 6 months. No more "medicinal herb" on those bad chemo days. It interacts with the blood thinners. I finally said, to hell with it, and used it on the last couple chemo rounds, got yelled at by docs, but hey...I'm still standing...so there!

Two weeks after I completed chemo, in the beginning of July, we had to  move my mom in law out of her assisted living apartment building in a city 60 miles from our home. Her dementia had made even living with that limited amount of assistance untenable. The good news was that we were able to find a nice place much closer to our home, so I no longer had to make the twice weekly trek out to see her that I was doing prior to my cancer diagnosis and treatment. Now it only takes me about 10 minutes. I'll admit I had hoped to delay the move until I was feeling better, but I guess it all worked out in the end. I certainly don't miss those hours spent in traffic!

On July 26th, our son's lease was up, and since as he said, "I didn't move out to live alone, I moved out to live with Issa", he moved back home with us. Two days later, Issa passed away. She had been released from Cedars Sinai a week before to hospice care at her sisters home. My son and her family were all there with her when she died.

She died on July 28th, 2014.  And here it is, more than a year later, and I still can't write all this without crying. We miss her so. It's so hard to watch your child try to survive a broken heart.

Then began the year of firsts. Issa's birthday, our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her, and all those other happy events that we memorialize throughout our years. Those things become sad and painful reminders of things lost.

I've had some problems with the long term side effects of pelvic radiation, I had some internal scar tissue removed from my *ahem, internal lady parts, (knocked out, sound asleep...no big deal...bring on the anesthesia!). In April of this year, I developed a hole in the center of  my retina, I blame chemo....retinal surgeon says...ehh...maybe...no proof. But damn....I'm like 30 years too young for that! I had surgery to repair it, and had to spend 5 days in a face down position, with a 5 minute break each hour. I'll probably develop a cataract in that eye within the year and have to have that removed. Aargh. But my vision in the eye is better...the blind spot is wee little now...whereas before I could close my good eye and the entire lane of oncoming traffic would *poof* disappear. And the immense flare up of previously mild osteoarthritis has suuuucked.....again..no proof it's from treatment, but weirdly coincidental....

All in all...I do not recommend radiation and chemo. Unless, of course, it's going to keep you alive and kicking and all that.....

Anyway....I am apparently terrible at 'summing up' .. Inigo Montoya would be disappointed in me. I'm in remission. Hopefully forever. Statistically speaking.. ..40% chance of recurrence, so I try to remain aware. I'm not sure exactly what I try to remain aware of, since I never had any symptoms in the first place. But if anyone asks, yeah, I pay close attention to things....?? The bummer black cloud I had hovering over my head last year and the first part of 2015 is dissipating. I can actually listen to my "Happy Music" playlist on Spotify now without wanting to chuck my phone out of my car window...so that's good! We got an adorable puppy in February, who always makes me smile. And our little Twinkles is hilarious to hang out with. (more about both later!)

Thanks for hanging in with me. Life's a wild pony ride. Sometimes it tries its best to buck your ass off, so you just have to hang on for all your worth. 

Choice

Choice. It's a funny thing, how I forgot about choices. When talking about my treatments with my family, I always say, "Well, it's gonna suck, but it's not like I have a choice....".  And I've been thinking about that, and I'm wrong. Saying I have no choice abrogates my own responsibilities. And it ignores my own abilities and intellect. Damnit, I DO have a choice. And this is the path I chose. I chose the chemo/radiation. Yes, it was recommended as the best treatment, but nobody forced me into the TomoTherapy machine every day for 32 days. I chose to be there. (And my butt is a nicely browned, well done toasted color...thank you very much.....)  Nobody held me down and force fed me 6 Xeloda tablets every day during that time. I chose to take them to increase the efficacy of the radiation.

 I'll start chemo in two weeks. Eight rounds of Folfox 6, and that too, is MY choice. I could refuse and take my chance with chemo/radiation only. I could chose the Xelox regimen instead of Folfox. But I've done my research and once again, I am in agreement with my doctor, that Folfox 6 is the best choice for me. But it is MY responsibility. No one else's. 

I'm not going to be forcibly strapped to a table tomorrow when I have surgery to insert the chest port. I chose to have this port. I've researched and come to the conclusion, that yes, my doctor is correct and a portacath will save my veins from the corrosive effects of chemo. I've studied the different types of ports, and I have decided that for me, the chest port will be preferable to the arm port. I've chose the Folfox 6, which requires a few hours of infusion, followed by 46 hours on a continuous pump. And a port in the arm would be awkward with a pump, so chest port it is.

When my oncologist said we would start chemo on Feb. 25th, I decided that was too soon for me. So I chose to postpone for a week, and will start on March 4th. Again, this is my choice.

So why have I been saying, "I have no choice"?  It seems I've been making choices since last October when I was diagnosed. I've always been a "do-it" myself kind of person. Leaking faucet? I can fix that. Dryer stops heating? Google it. Yep, I can fix that. Lay some tile, plumb a sink, tear out a kitchen, install a toilet? Sure, why not?  Give it a shot. But for some reason, this past week, I've been feeling diminished, somehow made smaller, weakened, by this whole process. Dare I say, gulp, passive? Good Lord, last week I somehow became the "woman who cried about freaking everything". I don't think a day passed without the waterworks. And don't get me started on the Valentine cards my hubby gave to me and our two daughters. Just thinking about them might get me going again. Maybe it was just the mind numbing drive to radiation every day. The 299.1 seconds I was being slowly sucked into the machine, whilst thinking..."Oh jeez, I gotta pee....."! (Yeah...deep thoughts while I'm being radiated....)  I just felt raw, mentally, physically and emotionally. Sort of like the universe had a giant sander with 80 grit paper that had just been grinding away at me.

But last night, I had an epiphany...I'm still here. And I'm still standing. And damnit, the past six weeks weren't something that was "done to me", but something I had done, to extend my chances at a long life. It was me, using the tools at my disposal to fix something. I'm still me. Today is my last day of radiation. I made it. I'm still here, still me, still standing and ready to keep bringing this fight. My choice. I chose to live. Cancer started this fight. I'm going to finish it.

Diabolical Genius of Cancer Treatments...

I've come to the conclusion that there is a diabolical genius in this particular cancer treatment. While I certainly didn't feel like I was ill with a deadly disease prior to beginning treatment, I can categorically state, that at the end of my third week, I now feel exactly like the stereotypical cancer patient portrayed in books and on film. Nausea...check. Fatigue....check. Bladder issues....check. Pain....check. Whereas before, cancer was sort of a surreal illusive thing, now, hey...wow....do I have cancer or what??

 It's hard to believe that three short months ago, I was someone who rarely took any medication...even aspirin. And I swear I'm a freakin' walking pharmacy now. I am grateful though, there as good drugs now as opposed to decades past. Nope, not hittin' the ganga for it, but Zofran and I are best buds. And it does a respectable job, still feel queasy, but it's kept as "background noise" as opposed to "headlining main event" as long as I dope up regularly. And since the old bladder is apparently a wee bit irritated with the whole radiation pouring through it on a daily basis, I now have the pleasure of getting up four times a night to pee. At least I wake up in time to take the Zofran. Look...silver linings!!

 Okay...I'm gonna go have a little cheese with my whine....I'm doing okay actually.

After today, I'll be at the halfway mark in the first portion of my treatments, chemo/radiation. I have an irrational hatred of the drug Xeloda, and am so happy I don't have to take it on the weekends. And I'm thrilled I have a couple days off from the zapping too.

My sister is coming into town today, and we're going to see The Book of Mormon at the Pantages in Los Angeles tomorrow. I've seen it already...hilarious genius! And I can't wait to see it again.

PET scans can be weirdly relaxing......

There is something surreal about lying in a pet scanner. I've graduated from CT scan to PET scan, when my CT showed a couple weird little things that *ahem, "given your history....we should follow up on...." sigh. Really? And not to freak you out or anything, but "we got it authorized and scheduled in 10 minutes and it will be two days from now...." um....ooookay....If a person could forget about why they have to have a PET scan though, they're actually sort of relaxing. I had to sit in a nice comfy recliner in a dimly lit room for an hour whilst the radioactive isotope meandered through my body. I had my Kindle, so I was a happy camper. The scan itself takes a long time. I would move by 3 inch increments into the scanner and it would take about 4 minutes per slice. All total, I think I was in the machine for about 45 minutes. Now, once more, I wait. And at this point...good news...or bad news...I just can't stand much more waiting.
I think (if the PET scan results are okay) that I may be starting my treatments as early as next week. I know...I know...it's Christmas. And I know my kids and mom in law would all like it if I postponed, but I'm just chompin at the bit to kill these little bastard cells before they kill me. AND the sooner I start, the sooner I finish.
It's so strange. Shouldn't I look sick? Or feel sick? I mean...at the least I have stage IIIc cancer, and if the PET sucks...I'll get boosted to stage IV. (Yeah...THAT freaks me out.....) I keep thinking to myself...shouldn't I feel something, other than normal? I mean, I've still got a little post op discomfort...nothing the occasional Aleve can't handle. And I still don't quite have the same energy level as the day before surgery, but that's supposed to be normal for four weeks post major surgery. Someone last week said to me, "Life really changed when you got sick, didn't it?" And it actually took me a minute to figure out what the hell she was saying to me. I'm not sick. Really...I feel fine. Although it does sound counter intuitive to say, "I have cancer, but I'm not sick." Hmm....oh well, been reading up on chemo/radiation (first step for me---Xeloda and radiation 5 days a week for 6-7 weeks) and then traditional chemo...(8 rounds folfox 6) and it sounds like I'll be feeling crappy enough pretty soon. No way around that so what the hell....embrace the suck.
I'm sorta hoping chemo/radiation leaves me with a super power........

Okay, so this cancer thing isn't going to be as uncomplicated as I thought......

So, I'm having a little meltdown tonight. I met my Oncology doctor today and today is the day that I found out what stage my colon cancer is. And it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Stage IIIc. Wow. That's a tough one to write. The house is asleep now, and suddenly my stupid brain decides that after holding everything together quite nicely, thank you, now is the time for a meltdown. I guess I meltdown better in private anyway. If you've come here from my Facebook page, and you're one of my old friends, thank you for indulging me. . Maybe I should 'splain this blog.
Some years ago, I discovered that publishers would actually GIVE me books that weren't yet published if I wrote a review of the book. Yeah...I'm still a massive bookworm nerd...that never changed. I was in book heaven. After a few years, though, the books started to pile up, there was no way to keep up with the stacks of books I was being sent, and really, it was starting to feel like a job or an obligation. I sort of just stopped. Oh I read as much if not more, but I stopped reviewing. I always intended to come back though, so I kept the blog alive. *shrug...well, I suppose I'll really have a lot of time to review now, with not much energy to anything else.
So, you may have read my previous rambling epistle. The one I wrote prior to surgery. The one where I was gonna make Colon cancer my bitch. Okay....it might be a little harder to do that than I thought it would. But whilst melting down and trying not to wake up my husband with my oh so ladylike sniffles....(think geese honking as they fly south for the winter), I realized that what I really needed to do, was get some of my thoughts written down. I'll post about my 'adventure"...."experience"....hell, I don't' even know what to call these self indulgent posts. But I think they'll help me, and I know it's hokey...but if one person finds them helpful in their own ....whatever this crap is called...I'd feel pretty good about it.
Stage 3C. That just keeps echoing in my brain. 3 frickin' C!!! For cryin' out loud!!! How the hell does a person go for a routine colonoscopy with NO symptoms and end up a 3C malignancy??? And believe me...I've wracked my brain trying to pick out some symptom I ignored. And I've got nuthin'. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Not to be crude....but you could set a clock by my pooper. I'm the most regular person I know. And I have a cast iron gut. The only thing that consistently will make me sick is Carls Jr. food. (Sorry Carl...but facts is facts...) So that's what keeps bouncing around the old brain pan. How the hell did I get here??
Well, I believe I have sufficiently vented to my blog to get some sleep. Got the schnozz blown and cleaned out...eyes wiped. Thanks for indulging me...onward, people....always onward!!

Making Colon Cancer my Bitch....

Life, as it frequently will, has gotten in the way of reviewing books. And, I'll admit, the reviewing of ARC's for publishers had started to feel like a job as opposed to something fun. So, I took a *ahem....short break. Which extended to a long break. And now I'm maybe back. But not in anyway that is bookish for now. In fact...if you're reading this...well....first...wow...I'm still on your feed? That's shocks the hell outta me. And second...my life has taken some big left turns lately, and I think I'm going to write about them here. Not so much for anyone to read, but sort of as self induced therapy.
All you moms know what I mean, there are just some things that you can't really talk to your kids about, they have enough to deal with, and my husband...marvelous loving man that he is, I can't seem to dump all this angst on him yet. So, I figure, here, with a mythical, imaginary reader, I can vent to my hearts content. Because I know I feel better when I vent.
Yeah, so....I have colon cancer. Wow. Took me three days after the diagnosis to be able to actually say the word. On Oct. 15, I went in for a routine colonoscopy, my second, no symptoms...no nuthin'. I remember waking up a wee bit during the procedure and hearing the doc say, "there's a mass in the sigmoid colon"...and I thought to myself, "well crap, I'm pretty sure he's talking about me since I'm the only patient in here." Then I went back to sleep. I guess I'm glad I had that little bit of insight, because when they insisted my driver, my adult daughter...(4 months pregnant with my first grandbaby! YAY!!) come into the room so the doc could talk to us after I woke up. I pretty much knew what he was going to say. In retrospect..I should have taken those few minutes before he came in and prepared my girl. Dumb.
Also dumb, was the fact that I was a year late for the test. I had benign polyps in the first test, and was supposed to return in 3 years. The prep the first time was just awful, and I kept avoiding it. My hubby nagged, I avoided. Then something weird happened. I know nobody would believe this...I swear it makes me seem mental, but a couple of weeks before I made the appointment, I would get the weirdest feeling. Almost like a wee little voice inside. And at the most random times. I'd be driving out to Camarillo to see my mom in law, listening to a zombie novel or something equally deep on the stereo, and for a split second, I'd think, "You're going to have cancer." Or "you've got some challenges ahead". Or a song would come on....Tim McGraw's "Live Like you were Dying"...and even though I've always thought it was a lovely song, that was it, and during the song, the damn little voice would say, "pay attention to this one". I thought, "Wow...your vivid imagination has run amok!" But finally, after a couple of weeks, I called and made the consultation appointment. Now, the first time I had this done, it took three weeks for the initial consult and about a month more for the actual procedure. So, I'm thinking, "yeah...I'll get the appointment, feel virtuous, and still have lots of time for all the stuff I'm always doing!"
Hmm...damn...whaddya mean you have an opening this coming Tuesday? It's Friday already....crap. Can't think of a good excuse. Okay...I'll take it. Little voice finally shuts the hell up.
Initial consult is as usual, sort of pointless. Mostly just get a prescription for the nasty crap that cleans you out and then they schedule the procedure. Okay...I'll have lots of time before that....whaddya mean...you have and opening on THURSDAY!!??? In two days? Nope...can't do it. Wouldn't be able to find a driver on that short notice. Oh...you have an opening in one week too? And then nothing until November 25th? Well, crap. I don't want to do this the same week as Thanksgiving. Nothing says "yay, Thanksgiving dinner, like the residual week long nausea I had after my last colonoscopy. Ok. I'll take next Tuesday.
The week goes by, little voice is still gone. I prepared for the prep more this time, instead of following the docs advice to do one day of bland, white food and one day of liquid diet, I did two of each. It's funny, but after you've done the bowel prep, the next time, you find yourself looking at food with the eye to..."hmmm...well THIS has to be gone in X days...is it worth it??" Usually, the answer was, "um..no." Drank tons of water that night, didn't want to get dehydrated what with the fire hose my tookus had become earlier that day...woke up at 11:45 to pee. And as I walked into the bathroom, the little voice reappeared. With such force and insistence that I found myself speaking the words out loud. "Right now..today...is before...tomorrow will be after. And everything will change."
I'm not a religious person. I'll admit I've always sort of envied people who can believe with all their hearts. So I'm not going to put a name to my little voice. Guardian angel? My brains understanding on a some sub-atomic level that something was wrong in my body? I don't know. But it was right. Everything has changed.
Bear with me, kind reader, if you haven't already given up on my long and rambling epistle. I don't know if anyone will ever read any of this. But I feel better just getting it out.

Directive 51 and Daybreak Zero--thought provoking novels!

I finished reading Daybreak Zero last week and, like the previous book, Directive 51, I thought it was an interesting book, nothing spectacular, just an okay diversion. Initially, I wasn’t going to review the books, because they were just a wee bit above average. I went to my Library Thing page and I gave them a 3.5 bookworm rating.

This morning, as I was packing lunches, I realized that, halfway through Mira Grant’s Blackout and a week later, I’m still thinking about Daybreak Zero and Directive 51. Hmm, there appears to be more here than meets the eye. Books don’t usually keep popping into my brain days after finishing them. I’m fickle, and I move on easily. And I’m quite enjoying my current read. So, what is it about these books that my mind keeps working on?

Think of the memes that flood the internet, and how some of them really catch on and go viral. In Directive 51, the author has conceived of a meme that appeals to a large swath of the population, all of whom feel that mankind is the biggest blight on the planet and to save the planet, we must de-populate it as quickly as possible, destroy modern technology and return to an agrarian 18th century lifestyle. Through the use modern technology, (and yes, the irony is duly noted) the “Daybreakers” all over the globe develop nanobots and bacteria that work together to destroy all plastics and manmade materials. They coordinate the release of these materials all over the globe.

Stop for a moment and consider how much of our world is made up of manmade materials, and what would happen to each of us if this suddenly turned into a stinky pile of brown goo. What would happen to people with pacemakers and other implanted medical devices, and our food supplies, our clothing? Nothing would be immune; communication, entertainment, transportation, everything would be affected.

".......Jim Browder rubbed his porcine jowls, shoving so much flesh up toward his ears it looked as if he were about to peel his face off like a bag. “Non-replicating nanotech works just fine in industry, everywhere, these days, and has since the late twenty-teens. Replicating nanotech is a stunt that hobbyists do. It’s not hard to make nanos that make copies of themselves, and it’s not hard to make nanos that do something useful, but so far it’s hard to get them to do both because for any useful, creative purpose, they’d have to communicate and work with each other, and that’s very hard. But if all you want a nanobot to do is make nitric acid whenever it senses that it’s near an electric circuit—that’s what our weapons guys were looking at. They thought it was too unreliable, it would attack our own gear, and you’d never get rid of it once you released it. But if all electric machines are the enemy, forever, I guess that’s an advantage.”

“Why nitric acid?”

“Just an example,” Browder said. “Because you could theoretically synthesize it from air and wouldn’t have to have any other material available. But depending on what they intend to attack, and what they can expect to find near it, there’s at least a hundred other possibilities: fluorine gas, or hydroxide or peroxide ions, or a bimetallic strip that works like a battery. For sabotage, you only need nanoreplicators to reproduce in clusters around something valuable, and excrete a substance that attacks it. Achieving that is down at the college sophomore lab level these days.”

Hannah Bledsoe, from DHS, tall, handsome, dignified, with a deep red dress and pearls that seemed as much a part of her as her soft curly gray hair, looked up from her laptop. “And what are the biotes? Disease organisms?”

Browder grunted. “Sort of, but not against people as much as against artificial materials. The Daybreakers’ genetic-modification stuff that we’ve decrypted so far is all devoted to modifying ordinary decay bacteria, molds, funguses, any bug that eats dead stuff, to make engineered enzymes to break down long chains of carbon.”

Edwards said, “Pretend that some of us skipped chemistry class.”

“A lot of artificial materials—most plastics, for example—and the common fuels like gasoline and kerosene—have molecules that are built around a long, branching string of carbon atoms, with various other atoms attached on the side. The reason they usually don’t decay is because the carbon-carbon bond is fairly strong, and where there’s a long string of them, there’s not much—at least not much that a living thing naturally makes—that will attack the chain and break it into pieces small enough to digest. Basically the biotes are molds or yeasts, bacteria or maybe viruses, that turn synthetic materials and liquid fuels into sugars, fats, proteins—food that rots and spoils.”......"

These are ambitious books, not only does the author give us a dystopian future filled with heroic and human characters, he also tackles big issues. The sanctity of our Constitution versus the malleability of the document. Liberals and conservatives. Environmentalists and capitalists. Survivalists, preppers, hippies, tree huggers, the religious—no one is spared. These are not easy reads; both books took me a while to get through. They weren’t books that I was so absorbed in that I couldn’t stop reading, I only picked them up just before bed and read for a while, and yet, they’ve really stuck with me. I certainly never expected to pick up a dystopian science fiction novel, and suddenly be considering my feelings about the Constitution, politics, the environment and religion. And I certainly didn’t think I’d still be thinking about these books a week later.

I was disappointed when I finished Daybreak Zero that the story is continuing; but not because I felt let down by the story. The second book was heading in an interesting direction, the internet ‘meme’ that started it all, had become an almost sentient being, begging the question, “Is an individual responsible for all the chaos? Are things in the novel as they appear? Or are there nefarious forces at play?” Sigh….I guess I just have to wait and see, but I sure do wish I hadn’t discovered these books until 2013, when Wikipedia says the next book is coming out.

Personal note to the author:
Mr. Barnes, sir, with all due respect…crank it up,….I really need to know how this is all going to end. 2013??!!! Seriously??!! I mean, I like your style, and I’m glad I stumbled across your books, and I’m sure that I’ll now be checking out the rest of your bibliography, but it’s a looooong time to wait.



My rating:
(and I've gone back to my page on LibraryThing to change it!)

Another best day!!

I know...I should have stopped with the wedding picture a couple days ago, but what can I say? Memorial Day was a damn busy weekend, we had my birthday, wedding rehearsal, wedding, BBQ for the youngest high school graduation, the graduation.....whew! I was tired when those five days were over! This is a tiny little portion of the graduating class of the local high school. She's the one near the center with the red sash on.

When my youngest son graduated in 2007 from the same high school, my daughter asked me why a small number of the graduates were wearing white, while everyone else was in the school color. I told her it was because those students had maintained straight A's all through high school, and she responded, "I'm going to wear white when I graduate." And she did. We're very proud of her, 15th out of a class of almost 600, with a GPA of 4.37. She's going to be an elementary school teacher, and I know she'll be great!

Okay, I'm done for now. Maybe my next post will be a little more...bookish.

Best Day EVER!!!

(Click the picture to see it full-sized)

I warned you--I'm the proud mom and mom-in-law, and since that 's new (the mom in law part, not the proud of my girl part!!) I'm determined to show some pics of the most fun wedding I ever attended. Here's the 'serious' part, before we all started dancing our feets off. Here's my daughter and her new husband, sharing their first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. My younger daughter is the maid of honor on the left. And my mom made the beautiful quilt that they are standing in front of as a wedding gift, all hand appliqued and quilted.

Fifty Shades of Grey? WTF???

I am a patient person. In my whole life, I’ve only walked out of three movies. The Trial of Billy Jack, Wild Bill with Jeff Bridges, and sorry George Clooney, but even your cutey-patooty factor couldn’t save Solaris for me. I used to slog through every book I ever picked up. No matter how painful. But in the past few years, I’ve come to the conclusion that time’s a’wastin’ and there are way too many books out there to waste my time on, well, crap. However, being a patient person, and due to the overblown hype that “Fifty Shades of Grey” received, I stuck it out for quite a while. Alas, I wasn’t strong enough to finish. I hardly know where to begin…..

I picked this one up, mostly due to the above referenced hype. I heard about it all over the place; good grief, even on national news shows. One day I was talking to a neighbor who asked if I had read it. She has a lingerie shop and said her customers were constantly asking her if she sold it. She figured she’d better read it and stock it soon. I know the book has been called ‘mommy porn’, which made me go….’huh?’ What does that even mean? So, I bit the bullet and began the book.

I don’t read romance novels……ever. I don’t care what color the ruffles are on the bodice of the heaving bosom of the heroine. Nor do I care about the particular shade of steely gray eyes the rapscallion hero has. That said I was willing to give Fifty Shades of Grey a fair shot. Suspending disbelief, and patiently ignoring the flowery language and stilted dialogue. (I did mention…I’m a patient person…right?) I found I had a sort of internal dialogue going throughout the reading of the book:

Hmm… if I ran into the author, what would I say first? Maybe -- “Seriously babe, if you’re going to pretend to be an American author, maybe you should read some books actually by American authors and become a wee bit better versed in the vernacular.” Or possibly, “Umm…those publishers that told you that you could write? Yeah…those guys? Who apparently have an unlimited budget for advertising crap and convincing the world its art? They LIED!!” “Hey, I’ve got an idea, since you’re British, what say you set this book in Great Britain? Or are you too embarrassed to think that British people would behave this way, but tickled pink to think we Ugly Americans are this crass?” “Wow… anything for a buck?”

As you can see…I was, shall we say, less than impressed…

The internal dialogue continued, directed at the ‘fans’ of the book.

“Good God…you women should be ashamed of yourselves. Seriously???!!!!??? Domination/Submissive?? Okay, so it exists, I get that…and I can do the whole *shrug* different strokes for different folks, non judgy thing…but Seriously????!!!!!??? A young impressionable, naïve young woman with possibly the worst self esteem issues ever, meets older wildly wealthy and totally cuckoo bird nuts guy, and signs herself over to him? Eats what and when he says? Wears what he says to? Speaks when spoken to? Obeys in all things? Including all forms of kinky weirdness? Wow…we’ve come a long way baby…."

Yeah, okay, I’ll confess. I was OFFENDED by this crap. And I am pretty hard to offend. I think the last time I was really offended was over 10 years ago when I went to see Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers. And it isn't the kinky sex stuff that offended. It was the master/slave crap. Do what you want in the privacy of your bedroom/dungeon....whatever...consenting adults and all that. Hell, have a threesome with a parrot, I don't care! Nope, my problem was the whole ‘contract to give total control of one’s entire life to someone else’. Sheesh….

I am not a wild eyed feminist, heck, I’m the most traditional person I know. Married for decades, four kids, one just newly married. A cat, a dog, a house in the ‘burbs. Geez, I even drove a station wagon for years. I helped raise at least 5 dozen kids over the years in my home based daycare, so I could stay home with my own kids. Yeah…I’m that boring. So my disgust for the book doesn’t come from any deep seated feminist values. Nope, my total and complete feelings of *gag me*, come from the fact that I actually respect people and I expect to be respected in return. This ‘book’ is poorly written, badly plotted, stereotyped and clichéd up the whazoo, but mostly, it is just downright disrespectful of ….well…everyone.

I'm stunned that this book is the first of a trilogy...just when I thought the world couldn't get any nuttier, some chick makes a gazillion bucks writing this tripe. Sigh....maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't think of it first....

I gave it a shot, I made it to page 241 before I decided the book needed wings, as I threw it across the room…My advice, don’t waste your time, I’m pretty sure there are some plain wrapped magazines in the back of the newsstand that probably have better stories in them, and you’ll at least get pictures as well. Mommy porn….my a$$....

My rating:

(And I had to develop a new level, because my old rating system doesn’t go low enough)

And....I'm Back.....

Okay...sorta back. I haven't reviewed/posted in a very long time. Yep, I've kept reading, but I sort of came to the realization that the reviewing for publishers, while way cool and really interesting to do, was starting to feel like an obligation and not as much fun. So, I re-discovered my hobby of quilting, finished a couple quilts, got busier than a 'one legged man in a butt kicking contest' with our daughters bridal shower and then lovely wedding. Although the engagement was a year and a half long, it seems like it all came so fast! (Oh my goodness....I'm a Mother-In-Law......)

Last weekend, it was my birthday on Friday, wedding rehearsal on Sat., wedding on Sunday, BBQ for the youngest daughter's high school graduation on Monday, graduation on Tuesday, etc.....but now...I look forward to the massive expanse of unclaimed time opening up in front of me and think. "hey, I could maybe review a book or two!" And as usual, the slammin' reviews are so much more fun to write the the 'I loved it reviews'. So tomorrow, stay tuned for my first review in a while, and I had me some fun writing it.

What the heck, I may even post some pics of the fabulous wedding. I'm not a wedding person, but damned if I didn't have the time of my life, danced my feets off!! In fact, my eldest son kept asking me if I was okay to drive....hey, I wasn't drinkin'...I'm just naturally exuberant!

I'm promising myself to be a bit balanced and make time for all my hobbies, quilting and reading. So, I may post a few quilt pics, and add some reviews when it catches my fancy to. But I'm not really reviewing for publishers anymore, just for myself and any of you patient readers who for some inexplicable reason, actually read my opinion.

So, thanks for hanging with me...I always appreciate it!

Dancin' at a Wedding!

Preston and Child's Gideon's Sword: Worth a trip to the bookstore?

From Fantastic Fiction—

Introducing Gideon Crew: trickster, prodigy, master thief

At twelve, Gideon Crew witnessed his father, a world-class mathematician, accused of treason and gunned down.

At twenty-four, summoned to his dying mother's bedside, Gideon learned the truth: His father was framed and deliberately slaughtered. With her last breath, she begged her son to avenge him.

Now, with a new purpose in his life, Gideon crafts a one-time mission of vengeance, aimed at the perpetrator of his father's destruction. His plan is meticulous, spectacular, and successful.

But from the shadows, someone is watching. A very powerful someone, who is impressed by Gideon's special skills. Someone who has need of just such a renegade.

For Gideon, this operation may be only the beginning . . .


Woohoo!!! Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child are BACK!! I’ll admit it, I’m a big fan of these guys, both solo and together, but the last couple Pendergast books seemed a wee bit, well, forced. Pendergast is still a freaky cool guy, but I’m glad the writing duo has decided to step away from him for a while and pursue another character. And what a character they have in Gideon Crew. Crew may not be as elegant and sophisticated as our Agent Pendergast, but he’s a much more approachable guy. He’s got his foibles, and lots of baggage, but we can see a wee little bit of ourselves reflect back at us through him. I loved the book, it's a great start to an "e-ticket ride" of a series. (e-ticket reference will be understood by anyone over 45, who went to Disneyland as a kid...ask yer mom!)

But--and you know if I'm annoyed by something there's going to be a "but"....

Spoiler alert here* Head down to the last sentence if you’ve not read the book yet….Still here?

Okay…Spoiler follows: There is a plot device that is farfetched, and drove me nutty. Gideon’s “rare and previously undiagnosed and uncurable disease that is going to kill him soon anyway so he might as well risk his life for the big payoff.” Umm….I’m not buyin’, this just seemed so incredibly dopey, that I decided that in the next book, once our adrenalin loving hero has been completely sucked into the program, we’ll find out it was all a big manipulation. I mean, it’s a series, right? And how long can a series last if the hero croaks of a rare disease in a year or so? My mental post-it note said “Lame” on that particular page of the book.

Overall, Gideon’s Sword is a slam-dunk action/thriller.

(Galley provided by the publisher via NetGalley)

My Rating:

Brad Meltzer's The Inner Circle

In Brad Meltzer’s The Inner Circle, conspiracies and mysteries span the centuries. The protagonist of the novel, Beecher White, is an archivist who works at the National Archives in Washington D.C. Beecher is struggling to recover from a recent split with his fiancé when an old childhood crush appears back into his life. Clementine Kaye contacts Beecher and asks him to help her find her long lost father.

The two haven’t had any contact since junior high school, and Beecher, in an attempt to impress the lovely Clementine takes her on a tour of the Archives. They stumble across a hidden dictionary once belonging to George Washington and within minutes the security guard escorting them is found dying. They have blundered upon a conspiracy that reaches as high as the Oval Office and as far back the Revolutionary War.

I was looking forward to reading The Inner Circle. I enjoyed Meltzer’s Book of Lies, Book of Fate and The Zero Game. But I was initially disappointed in this novel. I felt like it lost focus in the last third of the novel. The Culper Ring was fascinating and I headed straight to Google to read more about this little known (to me at least) organization. The convoluted plot line, with two separate Culper Rings, good guys who are bad guys, bad guys whose intent is to be good guys, and bad guys who are just plain bad and conspiracies aplenty made for a mishmash of plotlines that was sometimes difficult to figure out. And don’t get me started on the ending….I hate unresolved endings. I would have liked to see a better resolution to this particular storyline, even though this is the beginning of a series.

My initial response to The Inner Circle was one of “What the *%#! I spent the last few days reading this book and the author didn’t bother to freaking finish it??? AAARGH!!” I swear I wished it had wings so I could teach it to fly when I threw it across the room. Then I stopped, and got a grip on myself. Oh yeah, I’m reading it on my Sony Reader, I’d better not be throwing nothin’ across the room.

I was surprised when I found myself thinking about the book for a couple of days. I was so annoyed when I finished it, that I swore to myself that I was done with the Culper Ring/National Archive books and the series could go on without me. But now, in retrospect, I’ll probably read the next one. I suppose this is a testament to the fact that Meltzer has written some compelling and likeable characters, and in spite of my irritation, I would sort of like to know what’s next for them.

Now the big question, would I recommend it? Hmm, it’s sort of a “well, yeah…but…” answer. I kind of think it might be worth waiting for the next book to be published, so you don’t have to wait for the resolution of The Inner Circle’s plot. But that just seems like an unreasonable qualification, so instead I’ll just state an unequivocal – “meh…maybe.”

My rating: Initially , but upon later reflection:

Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley.

Reagle Beagle by Eddie Mejia

REAGLE BEAGLE by Eddie Mejia


Mr. and Mrs. Beagle have been blessed with four puppies, three girls and a boy. The girls are a rambunctious bunch; happy, mischievous and energetic. But their boy, Reagle, never speaks, plays alone and avoids contact with his siblings. Mr. and Mrs. Beagle are quite concerned about Reagle and encourage him to join in. One day, while playing, the girls get into quite a predicament, and it’s up to Reagle, the quiet little Beagle to save the day.

Reagle Beagle, written by Eddie Mejia and wonderfully illustrated by Violet Koncz is an entertaining childrens book with an important underlying message. All of us have come into contact with a child that we might consider to be “different”. Maybe at age three, they still don’t talk. Perhaps we see a kid in the playground that sits alone in the shade and repeats the same actions over and over. And most of us know how difficult it is to answer the queries our own children make about the little boy in their class that sits and rocks, and won’t look at anyone, or won’t speak. It just doesn’t ever seem enough to simply tell our kids that “Well, he’s just a little different, but you should be nice to him anyway.” Because not only do our kids have no idea how to be friends with a child who seems different, we parents are often stymied by it too.

Although written as a simple picture book for us to enjoy and share with our children as we tuck them in at night, Reagle Beagle gives us an underlying sense of understanding and insight into the world that children with autism often inhabit. With the incidences of autism and autism spectrum related diagnoses on the rise, it’s nice to find a childrens book that can, in the guise of a charming story, show kids and remind parents that everyone has something important to say if we can find a way to listen.

Head on over to Reagle Beagle Book and get yourself an autographed copy. Heck, get extra copies, not only would this book be a great gift for the lil’ones in your life, it would be a much appreciated addition to your local hospital waiting room, library, classroom or doctor’s office.

(Review copy courtesy of the author)

My review of Live to Tell by Lisa Gardner

In Lisa Gardner’s newest entry into her D. D. Warren series, Live to Tell, D.D. is investigating a brutal and heartbreaking crime. An apparent murder-suicide has occurred in one of Boston’s neighborhoods, and the father, who is a suspect, is barely alive in the ICU. Mostly written off as a murder-suicide, Detective Warren believes that there is more to this case. Investigating this tragedy will bring D.D. to a pediatric psych ward, where she meets Danielle Burton. Danielle is a nurse who specializes in the care of severely disturbed children and is the survivor of a family murder much like the one D.D. is looking into. The anniversary of her family’s violent deaths is fast approaching, and when D.D. and her partner arrive at the hospital, Danielle fears the past is being repeated.

One of my personal hallmarks of a successful book is if, after I finish it, it sends me off to google. After completing Live to Tell, I was googling like a mad woman. I found the basis of the book, severe childhood mental illness both frightening and fascinating. We’ve all heard the phrase, “he/she was just born bad”, but I’ve never really thought before what it would mean to have a child with an illness like this. And after reading this novel, I have a new found respect for the pain a mother must go through when her child looks at her and says in a sweet clear voice, “I’m going to kill you with a knife while you sleep.” Imagine, having to lock up your knives, after counting them to make sure your sweet faced little 7 year old hasn’t taken one. It’s just incomprehensible to me.

I’ve read the first two books in this series, but somehow missed the third one. I enjoy Gardner’s writing and I’ll make an effort to read The Neighbor, the one I missed. I didn’t have any trouble with what was going on, I think this book could stand very well on its own. Every book in the series, builds the characters a bit more, showing us the complex people they are, but never in a “smack us over the head” with it. And like getting to know someone in “real life”, the characters are added to in such a way, that if we miss a book, we can pretty much figure it out as we go along.

Gardner, as usual, never disappoints. Never pedantic or boring, Lisa Gardner knows how to write a good thriller. If you’re a fan of the the genre, Live to Tell is a don’t miss entry!

(Review copy provided by LibraryThing and the Early Reviewer program.)

My rating: